Primary talk.

Today Red Panda gave his first talk in primary. Even as I lay here tonight I have such mixes feelings. However, I am so thankful for a child's perspective.

First I will start with what I wish I could forget. The nervousness of going to help a four year old, with speech apraxia, give a talk in front of 30+ kids. The worry of not knowing how much my son understands and doesn't understand in the talk. It is extremely difficult to teach a child who can't tell you what they are learning and not learning. Especially when their brain is completely functioning. The worst part I want to forget is the instant Red Panda started to talk laughter completely filling the room. Kids saying things like, "I can't understand him. HeheheI can't understand him." Oh what I would give to have those sounds erased from my brain. But I know I need to learn. I need to not let my kids do this to someone else no matter how innocently it was done. 

I also need to remember what RedPanda  taught me today. As all this was happening and my heart was shattering to pieces I saw my son shine for who he really is. Amid all the laughing he stood tall. His eyes said it all, "they don't understand. And that is ok. I am proud of myself. I have worked hard." I have always been scared for my little boy and how he is treated. From a very young age he always has seemed to be the one kids choose to pick on. It is the HARDEST thing to do as a parent. But I am thankful.  I have the sweetest boy ever! I have a boy who can welcome any child even if they look different, can't act the same as him, or might just be struggling all around. I never want to forget his smile as he gave the talk he worked on not caring one bit what other kids would think. This is a kid I don't have to worry about teaching compassion instead he  will show the world what real compassion truly means.