Primary talk.

Today Red Panda gave his first talk in primary. Even as I lay here tonight I have such mixes feelings. However, I am so thankful for a child's perspective.

First I will start with what I wish I could forget. The nervousness of going to help a four year old, with speech apraxia, give a talk in front of 30+ kids. The worry of not knowing how much my son understands and doesn't understand in the talk. It is extremely difficult to teach a child who can't tell you what they are learning and not learning. Especially when their brain is completely functioning. The worst part I want to forget is the instant Red Panda started to talk laughter completely filling the room. Kids saying things like, "I can't understand him. HeheheI can't understand him." Oh what I would give to have those sounds erased from my brain. But I know I need to learn. I need to not let my kids do this to someone else no matter how innocently it was done. 

I also need to remember what RedPanda  taught me today. As all this was happening and my heart was shattering to pieces I saw my son shine for who he really is. Amid all the laughing he stood tall. His eyes said it all, "they don't understand. And that is ok. I am proud of myself. I have worked hard." I have always been scared for my little boy and how he is treated. From a very young age he always has seemed to be the one kids choose to pick on. It is the HARDEST thing to do as a parent. But I am thankful.  I have the sweetest boy ever! I have a boy who can welcome any child even if they look different, can't act the same as him, or might just be struggling all around. I never want to forget his smile as he gave the talk he worked on not caring one bit what other kids would think. This is a kid I don't have to worry about teaching compassion instead he  will show the world what real compassion truly means. 

Love

I love your velvety hair. I could tickle your head all day.

I love how you always spread your toes.

I love that you have your dad's ears.

I love when you smile you have one dimple on your right check.

I love your thunder thighs.

I love how you are growing so much faster then your brother and sister. You will probably pass them soon.

I love you try to suck your thumb but give up and suck your bottom lip instead. Of course you mastered your thumb before I could get a picture of you sucking your lip.

I love that you are so excited to explore the world you are determined to learn to crawl. 

I love how you are so extremely ticklish.

I love that music is a passion already. I wish we could have something playing 24-7 for you.

I love you have sister's hair and brother's eyes. 

 

Most of all we are madly in love with you my sweet boy. Thanks for joining our family.

Babies

Red Panda was our observer as a baby.

Lady Bug was our cuddle bug as a baby.

And AJ is our active baby. He just wants to do everything. I have a feeling he is going to grow up way faster then I want.

Our sweet AJ

This is well over do. So here finally, two months later is AJ's birth story. Sorry there is no order to the pictures.

You always hear the stories of women not making it to the hospital in time... Well that was my fear this time. I actually dreamed, many times, driving myself, with both kids in the car, to the hospital. My fears were not too far fetched giving my previous deliveries. With Red Panda my labor was 6 hours (that was with being induced early and labor complications) and Lady Bug was just over 1 hour (the Dr broke my water but no other help was needed moving it along).

This time we really had no warning. May 14th started like most other days. Horrible nausea and my body in early labor (I went into early labor around 28 weeks and had been stuck in it ever since.) I went to my 38 week appointment and scheduled to have my water broken the next morning. Since my mom was in town we spent the day getting last minute things done and giving me time with the older kids. I wasn't feeling too well so we also spent a lot of the day resting at home.

Around 7 we were still in our normal routine. The season finale of NCIS was on so we sat down to get lost in that amazing show. About ten minutes in I felt absolutely horrible. Sadly, with my HG and early labor I have many false labors, such a pain! So I did my normal routine with false labor:  take fluids, lay down on my side, etc. Nothing was helping. Around 7:30 I knew this baby was coming. With a couple pushing I probably could of had the baby at home.

Alex could see the discomfort I was in so he got me to the hospital in record time! My contractions had been under 5 minutes for a few weeks but now they were barely 30 seconds apart. And each time I was crossing my legs tightening every muscle in an attempt to hold my sweet baby in. At this hospital you have to check in through the ER. I don't remember much but feeling like if I even gave the slightest push a baby would fall out. It seemed to take hours to get through the check in process, and that was with per-registering. Finally, I was whisked upstairs.

Now my doctor knew I deliver fast, I even told the hospital. I called ahead to warn them I was coming and that I was barley going to make it. But all that was for nothing. After almost 8 minutes waiting in the triage room, trying to suck my baby back every contraction, Alex went and demanded they come see me. Finally a girl came in obviously put out that we were demanding she leave her post. Boy did her face change when she checked me. I was already an 8. She practically ran out of the room.

Within a matter of seconds a handful of staff came running into me. They brought a wheel chair for me, but realized there was no way that was happening. So me and the bed got whisked down the hall. All the while I am literally giving it everything I have to hold this baby in!

Almost the entire floor's staff was in the room. There was a midwife on the floor, thank goodness, who came to deliver because there was no way a doctor was going to make it. This part was really fast, and rather a blur. I just remember being told I could push. Finally!!! Two pushes and there was my sweet baby. Only 8 minutes after being in the room! At 8:33pm he was here, barely an hour after we left the house.

As some moms know you get an overwhelming feeling of joy the second you see/hold your child. My first two this feeling was overpowering. It was interesting this time because everything happened so fast I was almost in shock. Thinking any second I was going to wake up. Luckily, that overwhelming joy hit just a few minutes after holding him. The doctor made it in my room about ten minutes after he was born.

The pediatrician nurse was amazing! She let me hold my sweet AJ for almost 40 minutes before taking his stats. Everything was so rushed those 40 minutes were very much needed, for both of us.

Sweet AJ was and is an extremely healthy boy. Coming into the world at 7 pounds 0 ounces and 18 inches long. He is an amazing baby! Sleeping great and rather happy most the time. He is a growing baby too. We are so blessed to have this handsome sweet addition to our family. And the whole family adores him!

A Shining Star

  I wish I could put in words how proud of Red Panda I am. He really is an amazing kid!

Speech has been a struggle for him from day one. Because he could tell there was something 'wrong' with him, for the longest time he would not even try to talk. After 2+ years of weekly therapy, constant practice at home, and the help of preschool, he has made a HUGE improvement.

With this huge improvement came the official diagnoses, Childhood Apraxia of Speech. It is nice to have an actual diagnoses finally. It is sad how much this has been such a struggle for him. Luckily, he is an extremely strong kid. And this trial has made him the sweetest boy ever.

One of the hardest struggles for him has been making friends. I think this is one of the reasons he and Lady Bug are so close. Due to this struggle, he has become so good with other kids who are also struggling. There have been so many instances where a child is in a wheel chair, has a feeding tube, or some other physical deformity, and he runs right up to them with open arms. It is almost like he is saying, "It's OK, I understand" in his non-verbal communication.

Although he has another year of preschool, last month he 'graduated' with his class mates. He was so excited to show off his hard work.

Currently, he is determined to learn to read. His speech therapist gave us instructions for Zoo Phonics, and boy have they been a hit. Over the summer we have also been doing Mommy Preschool. I have been loving each minute of it.

This is a kid who is extremely smart, which has been so helpful.  He sees the world in such a unique way. I can not wait to see and hear more of what goes on in his brain. I am so proud of our little four year old!

Snow?!

Sometimes a weekend away is all you need. A trip to Flagstaff sounded perfect for that. I think all the pictures speak for themselves.